It can be fun to think about embarrassing moments (long after they’ve happened), but not when you’re in the middle of a tight situation. While a social faux pas – such as burping in front of the in-laws – might create a few odd expressions, a mistake at work could undermine your professionalism and leadership.
But while embarrassment is typically thought of as a negative emotion – closely related to both guilt and shame – it can be responsible for a number of positive outcomes. If handled correctly, that is.
In her book, Emotional Agility, Susan David argues that being embarrassed actually promotes trust. Individuals who feel and express embarrassment are far more likely to be trusted and forgiven, than those who don’t.
“When others see that we are embarrassed, it signals via our facial expression and the emotion itself that we care that we have transgressed expectations, that we have made a mistake about our actions,” she says. “Other are then more likely to trust and forgive people who care, as opposed to people who act with impunity, or without concern about their impact on others.”
The threat of embarrassment is also a powerful motivator and can help us better prepare for challenging situations. According to David, “if you’re giving a high-stakes presentation on behalf of your team to a potential client, you’ll likely think through the content and the potential reactions, which leads you to prepare more, as you want to be able to answer the questions and not let down the team”.
No one enjoys being embarrassed, despite what positives may come out of it. However there are a few things that you can do to lessen the awkwardness. The best way is to confront it head on, which is best handled by humour. When you make fun of your own situation, you look both confident and courageous.
According to a new study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, another way to counter embarrassment is to stay cool – both figuratively and literally. In an experiment, researchers asked participants to recall situations that resulted in a range of emotions, and then offered a choice of cold or warm drinks. Those feeling shame and embarrassment were more likely to choose colder drinks, as negative emotions often have a warm physical response in the body (such as blushing).
Experiencing embarrassment is a regular part of being a normal, imperfect human. So celebrate your imperfections in a way that leaves you far better off.